The “Samosa-Chaat” that changed my life.
No, this is not a recipe blog.
In my life, food had always been more than just “fuel”..
It was comfort, of home in a foreign land, and a source of delight through the highs and lows of my journey as an Indian Software Engineer in the USA. But it took one casual evening, a plate of samosa chaat, and a friend’s light-hearted comment for me to realize that my relationship with food was deeper and more complex than I had ever admitted to myself.
Allow me to elaborate ..
This realization hit unexpectedly.
We were at a local Indian restaurant in San Jose, Cali, unwinding after a long day of coding, stressful meetings and just the tech-life humdrum. I was planning to eat a simple paneer wrap because I was on week 23 of my 100 week fitness journey. But it has been a rough couple of days, and I decided to order their signature Samosa Chaat — which I loved a lot — while promising myself that “its the last time”.
Th moment the waiter placed the samosa chaat on our table, its tangy aroma tugged at something within me. Almost reflexively, I reached for it and took a generous spoonful. My friend commented — “You and samosa chaat, a never-ending love story! Haha” and everyone looked at me side-eyed. I diffused the incident with laughter, but it struck a chord. That night, as I lay in bed, her words echoed in my mind, leading to a profound acknowledgment — I was, in a way, addicted to certain foods.
But hang on, how did I suddenly conclude that I was “addicted” — given that addiction is a strong word after all.
Under the covers, I pulled out my phone to check my Uber Eats order history.
Samosa Chaat on the 5th of Feb
Samosa Chaat & Dahi Chaat on the 12th of Feb
Samosa Chaat & Paneer Wrap on the 22nd of Feb
…
And today, Samosa Chaat on the 1st of March.
The data was right there in the palm of my hands. Every 6–7 days I indulged in Samosa Chaat and I knew in my heart of hearts that every single time I had told myself “this is the last time” …
Isn’t this how addiction begins — subtly, silently, almost innocuously, until it’s an undeniable part of you?
As I lay there, the patterns of my eating habits began to emerge like pieces of a puzzle falling into place. It wasn’t just about the samosa chaat; it was about what it represented — a refuge in moments of stress, a celebration in times of joy, a constant in the ever-changing tides of expat life. This realization was the first step, a wake-up call to a journey I was yet to embark on — understanding and redefining my relationship with food.
The days that followed were eye-opening. My routine, especially after grueling workdays, often involved indulging in familiar, comforting Indian dishes. It wasn’t just the samosa chaat. There were evenings with the comforting richness of paneer butter masala (just 2 spoonfuls turning to 4), and the homely flavor of biryanis. These foods were not just meals; they were emotional anchors, reminders of home, of family, and a way to cope with the stress and isolation that often came with my job.
My roommates, also Indian expats in the tech industry, shared this culinary journey. Our collective nostalgia often turned our dinners into lavish spreads of pav bhaji, chole bhature, and rasmalai. We celebrated our achievements and consoled our disappointments with these dishes, unknowingly reinforcing each other’s food habits. Often it felt like we were we were hopping from one tasty meal to another, hoping something would change and make us delay the next hop.
The pattern extended beyond these shared meals. Grocery shopping revealed my other personal crutches masquerading as “healthy options “— jars of peanut butter for “occasional” sandwiches that became nightly rituals. I would often feel hungry right around midnight and tiptoe into the kitchen, make myself a healthy sandwich which I rationalized as “carb-loading” for the next days workout (in hind-sight this wasn’t needed)
My rationalizations were weak, and my portion control, weaker.
This wasn’t just about food preferences; it was a lifestyle. A comforting yet unhealthy cycle that was affecting my physical health and emotional well-being. The realization in bed that night was a turning point for me. I even remember sharing this on an IG Story with the quote — “Nothing will change unless you decide it needs to”.
I knew I needed to make a change, but it wasn’t about cutting out all my favorite foods. It was about finding the right balance and definitely working on my addiction, about rekindling my love for food in a healthier, more conscious way.
The key word here — conscious a.k.a mindful.
You know that sinking feeling when you realize you’ve been making a mistake or been deluded for almost all your life ? That night, in bed, I lay awake trying to battle that exact feeling. I pulled open my “keep notes” and started journaling my thoughts.. each word lifting me up .. and soon I fell-asleep.
The next morning, the proactive person I am, i willed myself to make home-made healthy samosas and re-create the restaurant recipe. It was 4/10. But I ate it for lunch and dinner along with my protein shake with a smile on my face. I could do this. This felt sustainable. But the problem of using food to cope with stress was at the root of it all. And I began working on it with simple guidelines like —
- Walk around the house when stressed.
- Don’t go into kitchen when stressed.
- Samosa-chaat at the restaurant only once in 6 weeks.
- Experiment more with tasty home-cooking.
More importantly, I became aware of the emotional triggers that led to my overindulgence. Stressful days at work, feelings of homesickness, or even celebrations — I learned to recognize these moments and find healthier ways to cope, like going for a walk, calling a friend, or training at the gym.
My journey towards a healthier relationship with food is ongoing. It’s about making conscious choices, understanding the psychological ties I have with certain foods, and constantly learning and adapting. It’s not about perfection but progress, one meal at a time…
Through this journey, I realized that overcoming food addiction isn’t just about changing what you eat; it’s about changing how you think about food. It’s about respecting your body enough to feed it well and loving yourself enough to enjoy the process. It’s a path I’m still navigating, learning new things about myself and my relationship with food each day.
Have you ever been “addicted” to a certain food, so much so that you want to eat it every week ?! (5 years later, I’m mind-boggled as to how was I not taste-fatigued by it)
About 2 years ago, I began working on my dream — my own method of coaching called TNV Method. We are a team of coaches, dietitians and Health Psychologists with a sole focus on helping you holistically improve your fitness lifestyle. We offer 1:1 personalized online coaching to help you transform your mind & body and achieve your fitness goals. Do check us out if you are looking for highly customized and engaging support!
If you found this useful, give it a 👏 and help others find it. Remember, you can clap upto 50 times (by pressing on the 👏 icon for longer). And it’s a great way to give feedback!
Follow my Journey on my Instagram page @iwillgetlean where I micro-blog my daily grind of cooking, working out, caring for my pup & growing my TNV Method.
